Wednesday, May 02, 2007

A little bit about myself



Here is a picture of us in Nice two Christmas' ago. It was very chilly, but it was great. I think we spent Christmas day in Nice and New Year's in Rome. We were also pick-pocketed in Nice, so it had its goods and bads.

I decided that I would write a little bit abut myself. I know this sounds vain, but I realized that I listen to people talk about themselves everyday, but no one ever asks me about me. So, I decided that you get to hear about me. I have been reflecting on my life the last couple days, and realized that I have a great one. Both Collin and I have finished graduate school, we have great careers, we are expecting a little baby in October, we live in a city that never sleeps, we have great friends, we are both healthy, we never go without, we live in a prosperous and great country, we really have a great realtionship, and have a knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel. It's hard to remember all of the wonderful things you have when the world is so focused on pointing out our personal flaws and getting them "lasered" or implanted in some way or form. Every time I watch the news, I am reminded of how wonderful a message the prophet has in reminding us to be positive and happy. Even when the world seems like it is horrible, there are so many things for which to be greatful.
I realized that even though there are some things that make me cringe when I think of them, I would not trade any life experiences or choices I made for anything in the world. One of those decisions was to marry Collin. This is a little personal, but I was thinking about how licky I am to have him. I was suddenly struck with this thought.....as much as I get frustrated with Collin and as much as he bothers the heck out of me sometimes, I try to look at him the way God sees him. I am sure that in the preexistence, Collin was so perfect...such a strong and valiant and powerful sprit. I am sure he was such an important part of our Heavenly Father's plan and God knew he could count on him to be a great member of this church and to continue to build his kingdom and entrusted him with these responsibilites. I believe the imperfections of mortality and humanity clud my vision of what Collin really is like. I am clouded with his insecurities, my insecurities, and my personal frustrations. Suddenly I am filled with this desire to be his equal and counterpart, for someone of such integrity and potential needs someone equally as worthy. I am motivated to see him differently and understand him more and appreciate him more. I still have to remind myself that we are all human and I need to look at him that way, but I live it when I don't have to force myself to remember and it comes to me naturally like when he is asleep. I know htat sounds rude, but what I mean is that it is quiet and I don't have any distractions around to cloud my perfect vision on him. what a great feeling.