So...I went to the chiropractor this past week against my husband's wishes. He refers to chiros as "junk doctors" and the practice as "junk medicine". I have to say that my experience was almost absolutely wonderful. I didn't realize how much stress I tend to hold in those parts of my body. I say almost because...well..I'll let you figure it out. You all know I love to relate my weird experiences verbatim, so never failing to disappoint, here I go.
Chiropractor: So you went to the University of Utah, huh?
Me: Yeah, I really enjoyed my time there.
Chiro: I was in Utah for the Olympics. I thought it was great.
Me: We must have been there the same time.
Chiro: How long did you get out for school?
Me: I think it was about a month. I really like Utah. It's such a clean place, especially compared to parts of VA and DC.
Chiro: Well, you know why that is, right?
Me: ...No, I don't. Why is that?
Chiro: It's because of John Smith.
Me: Who?
Chiro: John Smith. Their leader. He made them keep their lawn perfectly clean and everything.
Me: John Smith, huh?
Chiro: Oh, yeah.
Me: Any relation to Pocohontas? (under my breath)
Chiro: What?
Me: Was it really mandatory?
Chiro: Oh, it's written in their bible and everything.
Me: Interesting.
Chiro: Ever wonder why the streets are so wide downtown?
Me: Why the streets are so wide?
Chiro: Yeah, its so that the carriages had enough room to turn around while they were patrolling peoples' lawns.
Me: Really?
Chiro: Yep.
Now, before you judge me and think of how horrible I am for not seizing this missionary moment, let me remind you that this woman had my life in her hands for the next 10 minutes. She could have potentially paralyzed me at any given time. I wasn't ready to die that day...I hadn't read my scriptures or said my prayers, and I am sure I yelled at someone. Plus, I was enjoying the conversation. On a serious note, where do these people come up with these stories? Who would make something up like that? And, perhaps most important, who would perpetuate the story? There are some crazy folk out there. Here's to John Smith.
10 comments:
I love your dialogue . . . this is so YOU! I don't think I would've seized the mish. moment either. I mean really? Who is John Smith? A landscape architect? Horticulturist? Lawn Manicurist? WHAT?
That is seriously hilarious! I love that you do the dialogue because it's so much easier to picture the whole thing. When I have an interesting conversation, I'm totally going to do that on my blog next time :-) I love it! To answer your question, I don't know what I would've done in that situation! I may have spoken up but who knows. I definitely think it's funny that she thought it was all about keeping lawns manicured!
Freaking hilarious. . .
I think you got off easy with the lawn and not polygamy or other harder stuff. When are you going back? I challenge you to come clean...but read your scriptures and pray first...you can do IT!
Hey Rosemay! I "ran into" your site through Elizabeth... and I had to say hi finally - Hi from the land of policed lawns. :)
Ha ha ha...seriously, I'm busting up right now....If this woman was working on me, I wouldn't have said anything either!
To John!
wait a sec...did they even have lawns back then?
HAHA That is hilarious. I totally challenge you to not come clean and see how long you can get her to keep giving you insights on the mormon church. Maybe throw in a few "Man...Mormons are so wierd because they..." comments. I love doing that to my co-workers because I eventually spill the beans. LOL
Rosemay - I found you!!! Yippee. Another blog to read. I was at a tradeshow recently and when a lady from New York heard I was from Utah she asked if I was Mormon. Then she said this, "The only thing I know about Mormons is that they marry more than one wife. But how does that work??" With a very very serious expression on her face. I almost peed my pants laughing. Seriously? Seriously?
OH man.
Candice
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