Right now Josiah is crying in his crib. He has been crying for an hour and a half non stop. We are trying to get him back on a schedule and it has been very difficult between him teething, being at Emily's house for a little bit and moving into this temporary apartment. My friend jamie and I have discussed the differences in peoples' parenting styles, and I am actually curious to know what people think.
Do you think it is okay to let your children cry in their cribs in order to get them onto a normal, predictable schedule, or do you think it is better for children to be held, nursed, or picked up when they cry, and why? I'm not asking advice, just your opinions. I guess I want to know what my friends' experiences are since I don't get to talk to you all as much as I'd like.
7 comments:
I am all about letting my kiddies cry in their cribs to help get them on a schedule or just used to falling asleep on their own. We did it with Clark, and I think one night we went 2+ hours with him crying. Andrew has been a lot better sleeper so we didn't have to go through that. I usually try not to do this while they are sick or if they are teething, but even then, if they are going to cry when I am holding them or in the crib, eventually I just call it a day and put them in the crib and let them have it out...and I haven't seen any signs of emotional or psychological trauma result from it...yet ;-)
I feel your pain. I think that is the hardest thing for me to do! I think it definitely helps if they can learn to soothe themselves to sleep. With each of our kids I tell myself I will be better about standing strong, but I am still a softie. I did learn with Gracie though that the more I gave in the more stubborn she would be....I am a firm believer in regular and consistent sleep schedules, it definitely makes a huge difference.
Let them cry :-) I had to do it with Tyler several times but it worked like a dream! For me it was hard to listen to him cry for the short term (one night it was two and a half hours) but in the long run it was totally worth it!
I have no experience, but Neil says when that time comes, he will let them cry it out. I have my doubts he will be able to stick to that statement when he finds himself wrapped around his baby's finger!
I let my kids cry it out! I am much happier later, even if it seems like HELL while you are going through it!
I've been thinking about this post all day! Here's what I think: I think you have to listen to your inner voice a lot as a parent. If your inner voice is saying that you don't feel it's right to have Josiah cry in his crib for 2.5 hours then it's important to act on that. Considering that it's his only form of communication and that he is trusting in you to come to his aid for whatever reason - I think it is probably best not to let him cry for that long without you.
That said, I have let my kids cry on occasion. But I have always gone into their rooms at least every few minutes to try to calm them down and let them know that I'm still around and that I hear them. I slept with my kids a lot during the age that Josiah is and I rocked and rocked and sang and sang and nursed and nursed. It was so much work and I gotta say = they sleep better than anyone else's kids that I know.
That's not really the point though. The point is that if you're feeling bad about it, listen to that feeling and come up with an alternative solution. One that doesn't make you feel or question whether you're a great parent or not. You know?
Moxie Candice
I'm smiling a little...that the same questions are asked now that we used to ask. I honestly think I did both. Sometimes I was really tough...after the little one was old enough and had proven it was possible to sleep long enough...and sometimes when it was obvious that he was running the show. But I also know that I was at times a pushover for snuggling in bed in the night and nursing just to settle things. I like what Moxie said...which in other words, "Listen to the spirit". Do you love your child and want their best interest? Then whatever you do, it will work out.No you are a GREAT parent! We want pictures on the blog of your family. Dad & Mom C
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