Control

I am ahuge fan of old school Janet Jackson. One of her best songs came on and my brain started working. It was her first single..."Control". I love that song. I started to think of the reasons why Janet could have written that song. We all know that Janet is from one dysfunctional household (which dysfunctional families are not technically "dys"functional because they still manage to function in some way, shape or form..I guess the technical term would be maladaptive).
What I started to think was that Janet felt a need to have or feel some control over thier lives. I would imagine that everyone wants to feel control over their lives and their future and their destiny. What amazes me is that despite the fact that they want to feel control, they continue to place real or imagined expectations onto themselves. I will give you an example...some women think that they need to be the perfect mother. By perfect they mean the most organized, or the cleanest house or the best behaved kids or no fights with their spouses. I don't get it. Why place the expectation on yourself to be perfect and then complain that you can't be? Why not rid yourself of the expectation and be happy with where you are? Even if your house is not perfect and your kids are not the best does not mean that you can't work towards those goals. Why do people assume they can't work towards those things without killing themselves?
Men come in and expect to be able to afford the nicest houses or the fanciest cars or the latest electronics and kill themselves to get it because of some arbitrary expectation by others? These expectations will drive you to work twice as much as you should and then kill yourself for not having enough family time. The people you surround yourself with may also contribute to your crazy expectations. I choose to surround myself with people who don't compete with each other and who can appreciate what they have.
I learned a long time ago that you can't please everyone and as long as you compare yourself to others, you will never be good enough. Why even continue to perpetuate them? Why not focus on being the best Rosie, or Carly, or Jeniffer , or Beth? You don't have to worry about continuously compare.
I think that true control of your life is being free of imagined or other's expectations and focusing on being the best person you can be. That is true happiness. Being miserable is the constant need to keep up with those around you or setting unrealistic expectations.